DAILY REPORT

24th May 1996

I had an absolutely appalling incident today which resulted in a torrid day overall as my car severely malfunctioned.

When I was driving to school, I noticed a small amount of smoke from under the bonnet but I continued my journey as I was near school and approximately 45 seconds behind schedule at this point which I intended to make up for.

Then, to my horror, whatever was occurring with my car caused the bonnet to fly open and the front of the car was seemingly alight! I immediately pulled over but unfortunately this was into an area which was plastered with thick MUD mixed with appalling MANURE (unavoidable as my view had been very limited) and in the panic of exiting my car, I slipped and sullied my perfectly co-ordinated garments. This foul substance smelled terrible but not as bad as THE DIRTY GIRL from school in comparison.

I used the bottle of water in my lunch to put out any flames and secured my car. As I now needed to get to school in a hurry, I decided to run maintaining a perfect line down the centre of the road. This gained endless abuse and aggressive car horns from the obnoxious passing drivers as I seemingly caused massive tailbacks. Some was a certain maths teacher from my school. The bitch.

Eventually I arrived at school 16.5 minutes late which is totally unacceptable by any standard and my perfectionist friend was inexplicably in the corridor on the way to the staff room where she then gloated at my lateness. This was another appalling event.

Punishment of myself was immediate by several spells on my briefcase electrodes. The car I dealt with later.

Daily Report Episode 11

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