Eine Habe My Diary

Today I have an early start for one of my classes at the university. As a result I was forced to skip breakfast in order to leave the house earlier and hopefully reach the university on time taking into account variables such as traffic and weather. Starting the day with an empty stomach is not good for feeding ones brain especially one as sophisticated as mine but I do not allow this to happen very often.

The ride in was proceeding fine till I reached the edge of my local area where some, of what can only be described as degenerates boarded the bus. It was not long after that they began to smoke weed! (which I believe it also goes by the name of Cannabis!). Being at university I am often exposed to the notion of recreational drug taking and deplore such activities.

This appalling stench began distract me from my novel! It also made me feel very sick obviously as a result of not having anything inside me earlier. This angered me immensely so I began snorting and grunting in my seat just so they would know how much they have upset me and will cease (and whilst attempting to read further). I was equally shocked that this sort of behaviour was happening so soon in the day. Why do these people not have jobs or studying?

I have never known people of such low character to appear so close to my home. Not living far from that location I am concerned about the type of people who may be filtering through our plains.

I arrived at the university shortly after. I got off the bus feeling rather weak. I required an immediate intake of food so preceded as fast as possible to Wedge Restaurant on the campus; a location I have often had sausage with Thom. They serve very simplistic cuisine. I decided on simple sausage, simple scrambled eggs, simple beans and simple hashed browns in order to restore myself.

I then went on to class slightly late although this is the class I am considering changing. I arrived and was convinced that mockery was afoot after hearing “watto” from Leo and Mr Knowsit simultaneously. I replied with the usual greetings and salutations out of etiquette and I admit I was insincere.

After spending some time in that rather unfulfilling class I am considering changing my module since I feel the lecturer is not providing me with information that I can understand. Clearly since all the non-Welsh students do not seem to be having problems this is obviously a fault with his teaching and I therefore want no part of it. I know that I will be able to learn more by myself in half the time from the lecture material only! For now I shall continue.

Whilst in class I decided not to cavort with Marion to ask what I may have missed as she is usually busy on her computer even throughout the lectures. She was no doubt looking up porn or having some depraved sexual conversation with some shag from the previous evening.

I had some (intellectually limited) conversation with my class associates regarding the topics of the lecture and I decided to lead them to their usual drinking establishment. These people always follow me around wanting to learn from me. Whilst generally, I do not need these people around me one of the group I am quite fond of, Thom. Sometimes they buy me drinks for information and stories on a multitude of topics. Sometimes this makes me feel dirty as I feel I am in a sense prostituting my intellect and experience.

As usual we all indulged in alcohol, and (as usual) it was clear I was the superior party after several pints even though I was drinking lager, which I do not usually since it is not very sophisticated. I did not have anything to eat with them since as I was planning to eat food of much higher quality later.

We were talking about the usual academic issues for a while when my gentle friend Thom began talking about the subject of intimate relations with girls after Marrion triggered a conversation. Whilst I was very very disappointed in him I allowed the conversation to continue between him and the rather obtuse Leo (Mr Watto I think of him now and arsehole) for research purposes.

I often am within earshot of such conversations (being at university) listening to people talk about their sexual encounters with females and wonder how mine will compare though I devote little thought to it these days. Obviously, with such a physique as mine (and all that is needed) I can have one whenever I choose.

There was a pause when it seemed their conversation had ended as Thom enquired about the next round (an arbitrary method of buying drinks) and gone to the bar. I felt relived that we were no longer discussing this topic, that was until Leo directed his attention at me and asked me if I had a girlfriend. I promptly (and I believe understandably) erupted when this person began to probe into my most private affairs. I very forcefully informed him to mind his own business. Curse this interfering swine and damn him to hell!

I was very annoyed and promptly pursued Thom to the bar for another drink. I decided in protest to have a completely different and superior drink in both strength and cost, so this time ordered a double-vodka and lemonade to show my superiority to these people. Knowsit was now there also after returning from a violent encounter with a games machine. I sat back down and drank it instantly (though they would not grant me this triumph) and then continued to drink my pint at a superior pace.

Shortly afterwards I began to feel uneasy. Clearly the requirement to put the nosey Leo in his place destabilised me triggering my allergy to nuts to activate.

I decided it best to leave and headed directly home. I napped on the bus and did not feel any better. I arrived home I was promptly sick and for this I blame Mr Watto!!!!!!!!!!

Episode 5

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