BEHOLD THE GLORY THAT IS ME! The avid readers (you) of my life-improving articles may remember the ground breaking point I was making recently for which all students will be eternally grateful to me. A bad outfit makes you fail exams! I have now proved this!
For those people who were not fortunate enough to read the details of how this was discovered I will provide a quick recap. I do not need to revise. Outstanding attire is all that is needed to pass an exam as the psychological effect will strengthen you and weaken others causing all the other students to fail and statistically some must pass.
This was discovered when I was on my way to an important examination in my standard yet outstanding exam success outfit which consists of: my vintage brown striped suit with the stunning braces along with my polished boots, best glasses, cane and cap only for the combination of the weather and a vile, calculating foul managed to tarnish my attire. I predicted at the end of the exam that this would harm my academic prowess.... and it has.
Now the results are in and I can confirm this is the case.
In this particular module - it is unfortunate that this is only 50% of the problem. I also was contending with the problems with the lecturer being inadequate in his dealing with partly Welsh students and probably those of 100% heritage. It was unlikely I was to pass on this basis also. There did also seem to be some issues with him comprehending my presentation earlier in the semester.
My associates each received good marks (on their scale at least) and Marion seemed to perform well no doubt as a result of stimulating the lecturer in more primitive ways during the exam.
Other modules bought me the usual marks that were clear of a pass.
Because of the torrid event that was the exam, obviously a very small number of students achieved higher marks. I do want to stress how small a number it was. As a warning (only) I will shame the module in question, it was Multimedia.
Outrageously, the results have shown that my approach to assignments (making the lecturer wait for substantially better work) has not been rewarded because the university as a whole it seems does not like Welsh students. Surely I am making the lecturers happy by making them wait for what will undoubtedly be their most rewarding reads making them forget about the rest of the no doubt lacklustre submissions.
As a good person, I have given my associates permission to use my exam technique and have warned them about the tree where I sought shelter.
Even though the exam was not relevant however, this event has inspired me to take up shooting this summer.
Later I arrived home and saw my father, the educator, in the study working hard and to my surprise cursing! He seemed very irritated grasping some paperwork. As I discussed my own results with him I noticed what he was holding was the coursework I noticed a few weeks ago (database work) that was likely to fail since I have studied databases. It was evident from his expression, that of immense frustration, that the student in his class are simply not intelligent enough and this could be affecting him professionally. Perhaps he now has the duty of telling this thick person? Perhaps I should offer to speak to his class and tell them of my discovery!
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